


If you only knew

by germericangirl



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:28:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28070967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/germericangirl/pseuds/germericangirl
Summary: Eliott was Lucas’ best friend. He was also something like a big brother to him, being two years older and neither of them having any siblings.Their parents lived next door to each other and their moms were best friends. So when Eliott was two years old and Lucas was born, it was clear they’d become best friends as well.Or: Lucas realizes he has feelings for his childhood best friend Eliott. What happens when Eliott moves away to go to College before Lucas gets a chance to tell him?
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Eliott Demaury/Original Female Character, Lucas Lallemant/Original Male Character
Comments: 23
Kudos: 128





	1. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiii
> 
> Hope you're all doing well.  
> I've had this fic sitting on my laptop for a while now but I've never posted it, because I didn't think it was good enough.  
> But then I thought what good does it do just sitting on my laptop? So I'm posting it now and hope you like it!  
> Since it's finished I just need to edit the chapters a little and the updates will be daily <3
> 
> The tumblr post for this fic is [here](https://germericangirl.tumblr.com/post/637506160770138112/eliott-was-lucas-best-friend-he-was-also)

Eliott was Lucas’ best friend. He was also something like a big brother to him, being two years older and neither of them having any siblings.

Their parents lived next door to each other and their moms were best friends. So when Eliott was two years old and Lucas was born, it was clear they’d become best friends as well.

Eliott had carefully touched Lucas’ cheek and pressed a soft kiss to it, looking down at him in his mother’s arms in awe. Lucas didn’t remember anything of that of course, but their moms had shown them pictures and told them the story multiple times.

.

When Lucas was two years old, Eliott had taken his hand and walked to his backyard with him, showing him his new rabbit Fifi proudly and letting Lucas pet him. He never let any of his other friends touch Fifi, Eliott’s mum told Lucas years later.

.

On Eliott’s seventh birthday Lucas got him a bright red fire truck, which he had picked out himself. Eliott’s eyes had shone when he unwrapped the gift and he had hugged Lucas tightly to thank him. Lucas remembered the hug, it made him feel warm and happy. He loved seeing Eliott happy and smiling.

.

When Lucas was seven years old he started school at the same one Eliott went to. Lucas was a little smaller than the other boys in his class and they made fun of him, pushing him around the schoolyard and laughing when he cried. When Eliott saw that he got very angry and walked over, standing in front of Lucas and frowning. He was much taller than the other kids in Lucas’ class and told them to leave Lucas alone and to never be mean to him again. The other kids were scared of Eliott and left Lucas alone from that day on. Eliott made sure Lucas was okay and wiped some of his tears away, telling him to come to him any time he needed help. Lucas remembered that Eliott made him feel strong that day and after school they got ice cream from the truck in their street and Eliott had held his hand the entire time they ate their ice cream.

.

When Eliott was 14 years old he had his first girlfriend and he introduced her to Lucas when he brought her home after school one day. Lucas didn’t like her. She was pretty, had long blonde hair, smelled liked flowers and smiled brightly but Lucas didn’t like her. He felt like she was taking Eliott away from him, like she was spending more time with him than he was. Instead of playing video games with Lucas after school, Eliott went shopping with her. Instead of watching movies with Lucas at night, he watched movies with her. Instead of smiling at Lucas, he smiled at her.

So when Eliott stood in front of Lucas’ front door one night, looking sad and telling him that she broke up with him, Lucas felt a little relieved. He wasn’t happy that Eliott was sad, but rather that he had Eliott to himself again. 

He led Eliott upstairs into his room and let him fall down on his bed. He put on their favorite funny movie and lay down next to Eliott, letting him cuddle into Lucas’ side. He enjoyed being close to his best friend like that and being there for him. He stroke his arm and let him fall asleep next to him, watching his eyelashes cast shadows over his cheeks and his lips parting. 

.

When Lucas was 13 years old he went to the same school as Eliott and quickly realized that Eliott was one of the cool kids. All the girls loved him and he had many friends. Eliott didn’t really pay much attention to Lucas at school but not on purpose. He constantly had his friends around him, was talking to them or laughing with them. He also had girls following him everywhere he went and Lucas watched him quietly from the hallway or the schoolyard. 

Sometimes they caught the same bus home and Eliott always smiled happily when he saw Lucas, sometimes he hugged him when they hadn’t seen each other that day and they always talked the whole ride home. Sometimes they made plans for after school, but their age difference was getting more obvious. Eliott started going to parties that Lucas was too young to get invited to, and Eliott had his second girlfriend, when Lucas was still not interested in girls at all. He would be soon though, he was sure of it.

.

When Lucas was 15 years old he realized he liked boys.

When Lucas was 16 years old he realized he liked Eliott.

.

It was the night of Eliott’s going away party. His last night at home before going of to College the next day. 

Lucas and Eliott hadn’t spent that much time together anymore these past two years. Sure, from time to time they’d still meet up to play video games or to watch a movie together. But they were 16 and 18 now and both had their own lives, their own group of friends.

But sometimes when Eliott came home and saw the light still burning in Lucas’ room, he’d text him and ask if they wanted to watch a movie together. 

And Lucas always agreed.

And sometimes when Lucas came home from his friends at night and saw a light in Eliott’s room, he’d text him if he was still up and wanted to have a beer with him.

And Eliott always agreed.

Yes they had grown apart a little, but in the end they knew they could always count on the other and when they hung out, they felt so comfortable around each other like they always had.

At Eliott’s going away party Lucas felt a little out place, because most of the people there were Eliott's friends from school, whom Lucas only knew from passing them in the halls or from seeing them at Eliott’s house.

At least his girlfriend wasn’t there, Eliott had broken up with her two weeks before.

The only people Lucas knew at the party were Eliott’s family and his own parents. 

He was currently sitting on the couch next to his parents, clutching a cup filled with Coke and watched Eliott with his friends. He was laughing at something they said and he looked simply happy.

Lucas looked down at his cup. He didn’t understand how Eliott could be so happy, he felt sad about seeing him go. Even if they weren’t as close as they used to, he knew things would change even more now. They couldn’t hang out spontaneously anymore, they wouldn’t be seeing each other around anymore and who knew when they would even see each other again.

Lucas sighed and looked up again, he watched Eliott’s eyes crinkle in that familiar way they did when he smiled and felt something flutter in his stomach. He furrowed his brows and chose to ignore it, instead continuing to watch his friend.

Suddenly Eliott’s eyes flitted over to him and met Lucas’, for a moment it felt like the time stoppedand they were the only two people in the room. The fluttering in Lucas’ stomach grew stronger and he parted his lips. 

_Shit_ he thought and broke the eye contact, looking back down at his cup. _What the fuck is wrong with you, you’re not in love with your childhood best friend_ he told himself and swallowed a lump forming in his throat.

He excused himself and got up from the couch, walking through the kitchen and out the back door into the backyard, not chancing another look at Eliott. He needed some fresh air, it was probably just the feelings of missing Eliott which were overwhelming him. He sat down on the steps of the porch and looked at the sun setting in the distance. The clouds were pink and it was still warm out.

A few minutes later the door behind him opened and closed again, followed by footsteps that were walking over to him. Lucas didn’t need to turn around to see who it was, he'd know those footsteps anywhere.

„There you are, I was wondering where you’d went.“ Eliott said and sat down next to him.

Lucas smiled at him, when Eliott looked at him „Yeah needed some fresh air, it’s kinda stuffy in there.“ he looked back out to the sunset but Eliott kept watching him.

„Lu, come on. I’ve known you literally all my life, I know when you’re lying. What’s really going on?“

Lucas huffed, he hated it sometimes that Eliott knew him so well, but he secretly loved it too „Nothing, just some fresh air like I said.“ he said without looking at Eliott.

Eliott bumped his knee against Lucas’ „You can admit that you’re gonna miss me you know? It’s okay, we grew up together our whole lives. I’m gonna miss you too.“

Now Lucas turned his face to look at Eliott and saw the earnest smile on his face „You look like you’re pretty happy to get out of here.“ Lucas replied

Eliott put an arm around Lucas’ shoulders and Lucas ignored the spark it sent through his body „Yeah of course I am excited about going to Uni, gaining new experiences, meeting new people, going to parties, moving out!“ he smiled at Lucas „You know all that. But that doesn’t mean I won’t miss all this here. Or you.“ He looked down at Lucas again, eyes crinkling in a smile.

Lucas nodded „I get it, I’m looking forward to going to Uni in two years myself.“ he replied „I guess I’m just sad because we haven’t really spent that much time together recently you know?“

Eliott nodded „I know, I’m gonna miss our movie nights. But when I come home for Christmas, we can have as many movie nights as you like okay?“ 

Lucas laughed „Okay sounds good.“

„Hey what about one last movie night, after everyone leaves tonight? Just you and me?“ Eliott looked down at Lucas.

„But don’t you want to spend the evening with your parents?“

Eliott wrinkled his nose and waved the hand that wasn’t around Lucas’ shoulders „Nah, you’re more important.“ he smiled at Lucas, who looked up into his eyes. For the fraction of a second he thought about moving his head and just kissing Eliott right there and then, but instead he looked back out at the sunset.

„Okay“ he simply replied.

Eliott turned his head to the front as well and leaned his head against Lucas’. They stayed like that until the sun had set.

.

When the last people were leaving, it was almost midnight and Lucas was helping Eliott’s parents to clean up, it was like his second home after all. As a young teenager he had sometimes spent more time here than at his own place.

Eliott walked into the kitchen „Mom, Lucas and I are gonna watch a movie upstairs, see you tomorrow.“ He pressed a kiss to her forehead and took Lucas’ hand, to pull him along with him.

They had held hands so many times just like that, that Lucas couldn't even count, but this time just felt different to him. He jerked his hand away when he felt the spark go through his body and Eliott turned to him looking quizzically „Everything okay?“ he asked.

„Hm? Yeah just have a cut on my hand.“ Lucas lied and Eliott seemed fine with that explanation, walking up the stairs to his room, Lucas following closely.

Lucas hadn’t told anyone yet that he was gay, not Yann, his best friend, not any other friends and especially not Eliott. He was afraid of their reaction and he was especially afraid of telling Eliott, because he had noticed that he liked Eliott more than any other boys he’d had a crush on so far. And he was afraid Eliott would figure it out if he knew.

It was just a stupid infatuation anyways and tomorrow Eliott would be gone and then Lucas would forget about this stupid crush.

When they walked into Eliott’s room, the older boy fell down on his bed immediately and patted the spot next to him. „Come on Lu, let’s cuddle.“ he said and yawned into his hand.

Lucas stayed by the door for a moment, before pushing himself off to sit down next to Eliott. 

Again, cuddling, something they had done for as long as Lucas can think. But not recently, not as frequently at least. Sometimes when one of them was a little drunk and the other came over late at night to watch a movie, they would wake up the next morning cuddled together closely, but it was not something they really did anymore sober. Until today it seemed, because Eliott was stretching out his arms, asking Lucas to cuddle into his side.

Lucas rolled his eyes and laughed, pretending to be annoyed „Fine if you want it that much.“

Eliott wrapped his arms around Lucas and held him close to his side „Yes I need to cuddle my Lulu one last time.“

_One last time._ Lucas pushed the sadness away that had overcome him and quickly changed the subject „What do you want to watch?“

Eliott scrolled through Netflix and hummed „Something funny? To lighten the mood?“

Lucas nodded in agreement, cuddling further into Eliott’s side.

„What about Pitch Perfect? I love that movie!“

Lucas chuckled „I know, we’ve only seen it like twenty times.“

„Is that a yes then?“

Lucas rolled his eyes „Yes put it on already.“

„Yesss“ Eliott replied and turned the movie on, getting more comfortable on the bed and burying his head in Lucas’ hair „I’m really gonna miss you, who’s going to watch the same movies over and over with me?“

Lucas cuddled closer to Eliott „I’m gonna miss you too.“

.

Lucas woke up in a dark room, the TV must have turned off by itself at some point.

Eliott was spooning him, both arms wrapped tightly around Lucas, face buried in his neck and breathing evenly.

Lucas carefully got his phone from his pocket to check the time, it was 3:14. He sighed and lay still for a moment, unsure of what to do. 

He wanted to stay there with Eliott and spent the night, he really did, but he knew it would be too hard for him to say goodbye in the morning. So he slowly and reluctantly removed Eliott’s arms and stood up, covering him with a blanket. He looked down at Eliott’s beautiful sleeping face for a moment and couldn’t resist stroking through his hair. He bent down and pressed a soft kiss to Eliott’s forehead.

„Goodbye Eliott, I’m going to miss you so much, you have no idea.“ He whispered, a tear running down his cheek.

Then he walked to the bedroom door and exited the room quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	2. Two

Lucas stared at his phone, the third message from Eliott coming in.

_Heey where’d you go? Thanks for keeping me company last night xx_

_Are you up? I’m leaving in 30_

_Guess you’re still sleeping…in case you read this, I’m leaving here in 5 Lu, would love to say goodbye to you_ ♥︎

Lucas read the messages on his locked screen but didn’t open them, so Eliott wouldn’t know he was up. He probably knew anyways, but Lucas just couldn’t say goodbye to him. He would start crying and it would break his heart. It was better this way for everyone.

He closed his eyes when he heard voices outside and car doors closing. He heard his parents’ voices and quietly got out of bed, crawling over the ground to sit below his window, so he could hear what they were saying.

„We’re gonna miss you so much Eliott. Especially Lucas, I’m sure he would love to say goodbye in person but he’s still asleep.“ Lucas’ mum said.

„It’s fine, we were up late last night. Just tell him I’ll miss him please? And also could you give this to him from me please?“

„Oh of course yes!“

„Goodbye!“ Eliott called and his voice was further away this time.

„Goodbye Eliott, take care!“ Lucas’ father called and Lucas couldn’t stop the tears anymore, they were spilling down his cheeks. He had to press a hand to his mouth to keep from sobbing.

He heard the car motor being started and the car driving of the driveway. It honked two times and then drove of faster. Lucas got up slowly to look out the window and just saw the back of the car, before it disappeared around the corner and with it Eliott.

Lucas finally let out a strangled sob, tears running down his cheeks. He suddenly wished he would have told Eliott how he felt and was thinking about texting him, when his phone buzzed with a new text message from him.

_I’m going to miss you so much Lu, can’t wait to see you again. In the meantime, your mom has something for you. I’ll see you soon_ ♥︎ _Love, Eliott xx_

_._

Lucas had slept for a couple more hours after Eliott had left, exhausted from the little sleep he had gotten that night and from crying for what felt like hours that morning.

When he went downstairs it was almost noon, his face was puffy but he didn’t care.

Lucas walked into the kitchen, where his mom was just preparing lunch „Oh Lucas there you are, I was wondering when you’d get up.“ And when she saw his swollen face she added „Are you feeling okay?“ and brought a hand up to touch his face.

Lucas turned his head away „I’m not feeling that great, think I’m sick.“ he mumbled „Eliott said you have something for me?“

His mother’s concerned look gave way to one of recognition instead „Oh yes, he’s left you this.“ She turned around and retrieved a small box wrapped with a blue bow and handed it to him „It’s a pity you weren’t awake to see him off this morning, he seemed very sad about it.“

„Okay mom, thanks I know.“ Lucas turned around when he felt the tears rising to his eyes again and ran up the stairs, locking the door behind himself when he was in his room. He clutched the little box to his chest and leaned against the door for a moment, before walking to his bed and putting it down next to him.

_What could it be_ , he wondered. He had no idea and there was no use in staring at it any longer, so he slowly opened the bow and lifted the lid of the box. On top was a piece of paper and Lucas lifted it to reveal - Fifi. Well not actually Fifi, but the little stuffed animal rabbit, that Eliott’s mom had gotten him, when Fifi had died. Eliott had been so devastated, so his mom had bought him this stuffed rabbit, that looked a lot like Fifi and told him, that Fifi’s soul lived on in it and whenever he missed her, he could just cuddle that rabbit instead. Eliott hadn’t let go of the rabbit for a year. He took it everywhere with him and clutched it closely when he slept. Even when he got older, Fifi was always in bed with him, never leaving his side.

Lucas knew how much this rabbit meant to Eliott, he couldn’t believe he would give it to him. He sniffed as he put Fifi down carefully and opened the note.

_Dear Lucas,_

_Fifi will keep you company until we see each other again. There’s also a part of me in her, so take good care of her please. You know how much she means to me, but I know that I can trust you with her always._

_Whenever you miss me, just hold her close and I will feel the hug through her._

_Love always, Eliott_ ♥

Lucas sniffed again and put the note down, picking up Fifi and looking at her face „It’s just you and me now Fifi, guess we’ll miss Eliott together right?“ He lifted her up to his nose and took a deep breath in. He could smell Eliott’s familiar scent on her, he wished it never went away.

He picked up his phone and finally opened Eliott’s messages. But before he replied, he opened the camera and snapped a picture of himself holding Fifi close to his chest, face not included for obvious reasons, and sent it to Eliott.

_Thank you so much for trusting me with Fifi, I will take good care of her I promise. And I’m so sorry for not saying goodbye this morning xxx_

He didn’t make up an excuse or a lie. There was no need, Eliott probably knew the truth anyways.

_Aaaah you got her, I’m so glad! I was getting worried but I see she is in good hands._

_It’s fine Lu, I’m looking forward to seeing you on Christmas xxx_

Lucas smiled and sent back a ‚ _me too‘_ before locking his phone. Christmas wasn’t too far away, he would get through the next few months with Fifi’s help.

_._

Christmas was only a week away and Lucas was literally counting the days until he would see Eliott again.

Their texts had become more infrequent with Eliott starting school, needing to adjust and studying, but they were both looking forward to spending as much time as possible together over winter break.

„I need to tell you something important Lucas.“ Eliott had told him one night on the phone, after he’d been gone for a week.

„What?“ Lucas had asked.

Eliott had been quite for a moment „No it’s something I need to tell you in person, I can’t do it over the phone.“ He had said.

They had only talked on the phone one more time after that. Always missing the other’s calls or not finding the time.

So Lucas was anxious, still replaying that conversation in his head over and over again.

His friends had of course noticed his moping when school had started again and kept asking what was wrong. He had finally broken down and told them the truth, that he was gay and probably in love with his childhood best friend, who just moved across the country to go to College.

His friends had been so supportive that he didn’t even know why he was so scared to tell them in the first place. They all agreed that he should just tell Eliott the truth the next time he saw him, and that’s how he had found the courage to do it over Christmas break. He wouldn’t do it right in the beginning in case it went bad, but he would definitely do it before Eliott left.

Lucas was lying in his bed scrolling through Eliott’s Instagram, checking out his newest picture for the tenth time that day - it was of him and a few of his new college friends apparently - when his mom knocked on his door.

„Lucas honey can you come down for a moment?“

„Yeah I’ll be right there.“ he replied and locked his phone, petting Fifi before getting up and walking downstairs.

His parents were sitting in the living room and Lucas fell down on the armchair, joining them. „What’s up?“

„Your grandma just called“ His mom started „She has slipped on ice yesterday and broke her leg.“

„Oh no is she okay?“ Lucas asked concerned.

„Yes, she luckily doesn’t need surgery, just a cast for a few weeks and she’s sitting in a wheelchair for that time.“

Lucas relaxed back into the chair „Okay, I’m glad she doesn’t need surgery.“

„Yes, but that means of course, that they can’t come up to visit us for Christmas this year as usual.“

Lucas looked up at his mom, he didn’t like where this was going.

„So we talked to aunt Rose and we’ve decided that all of us as a family are going to visit them there this year.“

Lucas sat up straight.

„We’re renting a big house for the whole family and spend all of winter break down there.“

„What? No! Definitely not! Eliott is coming home next week, we made plans together!“

„I know honey“ his mom replied „And I’m sorry, but family comes first. You see how fast something can happen.“

„But Eliott is family too!“ Lucas yelled, tears rising to his eyes.

„You can see him over spring break, it’s not that much longer.“

„But - “ Lucas started.

„It’s decided.“ his father interrupted him „You’re coming with us if you like it or not. We’re not going to spend Christmas as a family apart.“

Lucas just looked at them incredulously. He couldn’t believe what was happening right now. After all this time he had missed Eliott, he was looking forward to seeing him next week. And now this.

He got up and ran upstairs to his room, falling down on his bed and clutching Fifi tightly, letting his tears run freely.

.

When Lucas was 17 years old, Eliott didn’t come home for spring break.

He hadn’t texted Lucas about it and Lucas hadn’t asked him. From what he had gathered from his Instagram, Eliott had a girlfriend in College.

Their texting had become less and less frequent, only texting each other on birthdays or holidays and the few drunk texts in between, in which they told each other how much they missed the other. Otherwise it had become pretty silent between them.

Lucas was getting over Eliott too. He still missed him of course and he still clutched Fifi close every night he went to sleep, but Fifi didn’t smell like Eliott anymore. His scent had slowly faded away and so had Lucas’ feelings for him.

He still thought of him a lot and he still stared at every new picture of him on Instagram for a long time, but Eliott had a girlfriend and didn’t think of him obviously. So Lucas forced himself to think of Eliott less often too.

He made plans with his friends to go on a summer vacation, their last summer before their last school year and before they would all go off to College.

They planned a road trip, mapped out a tour through all the different countries in Europe and looked up camping places. Lucas was very exited about it, until the day Eliott texted him out of the blue.

_Hey Lulu how are you?_

Lucas looked down at his phone and furrowed his brows. They hadn’t texted in months, the last text was actually two months old. He wondered what Eliott wanted.

_Hey, good! How’s it going by you? How is college life treating you?_

The reply was immediate

_Oh good, exhausting tbh. But summer break is almost here I can’t wait. That’s why I’m texting actually_

_Oh?_ Lucas simply replied. He had a hunch where this was going.

_Yeah I’ll be coming home for a few weeks and was hoping to see you? Spend some time together? Watch Pitch Perfect a few times?_

Lucas closed his eyes and let out a breath. Why didn’t you say this earlier he thought, but wrote instead 

_Aren’t you spending the summer with your girlfriend?_

As soon as he hit send, he regretted the message. He sounded like a jealous lover.

Eliott didn’t type for a few minutes after that and Lucas told himself over and over again how stupid he was, until finally a reply came in.

_Yeah I am actually, but not the first two weeks. Coming home for those._

Lucas bit his bottom lip. Timing wasn’t on their side it seemed.

_I’m actually going on a road trip with the boys for the first four weeks of summer, I won’t be here_

he replied.

_Oh that sounds awesome! Have fun, enjoy your time. I’ll see you the next time I’m visiting :)_

Lucas locked his phone and tossed it on his bed. It landed directly next to Fifi and he leaned over, picking her up. „Guess we’ll have to live without him a little longer, huh?“

.

Lucas had the time of his life on the road trip with the boys and he made sure to share it on his Instagram for all the world, but especially Eliott, to see. He was happy without him, he was having fun too.

In Italy he got drunk at a bar and made out with a cute guy.

In Spain he got a blowjob from a hot lifeguard on the beach.

And in the Netherlands he got high and spent the night at a hot bar tender’s apartment.

All in all he’d say the trip was pretty successful.

He went home with many phone numbers and new memories and he never felt that free in his life.

Of course that was, until he got home to an accusing look on Fifi’s face and a new selfie of Eliott and his gorgeous girlfriend on a beach on Instagram. He locked his phone and tossed it away, lying back on his bed groaning.

Eliott obviously didn’t waste a thought on him, so why should he.

.

For Yann’s 18th birthday, they threw a big party at his house. They were in their last year of school now and they were going to enjoy every moment they still had together.

That’s where Lucas met Adrian. They made out that night, exchanged numbers, went on a few dates and quickly became boyfriends.

Lucas made sure to share all their dates and trips on Instagram, posting pictures and tagging his boyfriend whenever possible. He ignored the small voice at the back of his head telling him it was all show for Eliott.

He liked Adrian, he really did. But he kept comparing him to Eliott all the time and realized that it made no sense to stay together with him. So he broke it off before Christmas break.

If he noticed that Eliott’s couple pictures were simultaneously becoming less frequent as well, he would never admit it, but he was happy about it.

.

For Christmas his family had decided to go back to the same house they went to the year before. The whole family had really enjoyed the trip and his mom loved that she didn’t have to clean the house and had much less work and Lucas didn’t even care anymore. He hadn’t seen Eliott for more than a year at that point and Eliott hadn’t asked him about Christmas break.

On his Instagram he saw that Eliott was spending it at home with his parents and from what it looked like, he was there by himself, no girlfriend on any pictures.

.

When Lucas was 18 years old, him and the boys went on one last trip for spring break. They only had a few more months of school left before most of them went off to College.

Lucas wasn’t sure what he wanted to do yet and had decided on taking a gap year. Staying home for a while, jobbing and deciding what he wanted to do. He wasn’t in a rush, he had his entire life ahead of him.

After they returned from their spring break trip, they didn’t have much time for anything anymore, except studying.

Lucas was so busy studying, he forgot to check Eliott’s Instagram account on some nights, which had become a nightly routine for him.

They all passed their exams and had a huge graduation party at a club with all the students from their grade.

This was the beginning of the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It always gets worse before it gets better...


	3. Three

Lucas was enjoying the first day of summer, before he started working. He was relaxing in his backyard, it was a hot day and he was in his swim shorts, a cold bottle of water next to him, music in his ears and sunglasses on his nose.

He had his eyes closed and was humming along to the music when there was a shadow over his face suddenly.

_What the hell, there were no clouds in the sky five minutes ago,_ he thought to himself as he slowly blinked his eyes open.

And then his heart stopped beating for a moment.

There, standing in front of him and smirking with his arms crossed, was Eliott. 20 year old Eliott in the flesh.

Lucas gasped, sitting up and removing his earphones, taking of his sunglasses and looking up at him disbelievingly.

What was he doing here? „What are you doing here?“ he asked out loud.

Eliott laughed his scrunchy eyed laugh, oh how Lucas had missed it, and all the butterflies in his stomach, that Lucas had kept at bay for so long, came back in full force.

„Is that any way to greet your oldest friend?“ Eliott asked.

Lucas got up quickly „Holy shit no, I just can’t believe it’s you. I haven’t seen you in…“

„Two years?“ Eliott finished his sentence and opened his arms, inviting Lucas in for a hug.

He crashed into Eliott’s arms immediately, both holding the other tightly and not letting go.

„God I missed you.“ Eliott muttered into Lucas’ hair.

„Me too“ Lucas replied quietly.

They stayed like that for another minute, before reluctantly letting the other go. They took a step back and eyed each other, the changes they had missed over the past two years.

„Look at you.“ Eliott said, looking Lucas up and down, making him feel self conscious „You’ve become a man!“ he laughed.

Lucas looked down at himself. It was true, in the last two years he had grown a little, become abit broader and was now growing his first stubble.

Lucas laughed and quickly changed the subject „So what are you doing here? I didn’t even know you were coming.“

Eliott shrugged „Yeah I didn't know if I should…we haven’t really been in touch, you know…“ he trailed of and Lucas nodded, looking down at the ground.

„So how long are you staying?“ he asked instead of dwelling on what Eliott had just said.

Eliott smiled „I’m staying all summer.“

„All summer.“ Lucas replied, heart picking up speed.

Eliott nodded „Yup, what about you? Are you off to College soon?“

Lucas shook his head no „Taking a gap year, I'm just gonna job for a bit and see where I want to go from there.“

Eliott paused for a moment „So you’ll be here as well? All summer?“

Lucas nodded affirmatively, one corner of his mouth moving up „Yup.“

Eliott couldn’t hide his smile anymore and his eyes crinkled adoringly „Awesome.“

„Yeah, awesome.“ Lucas agreed, fully smiling himself now.

„So we can finally catch up.“ Eliott said and Lucas nodded happily. „Movie night in my old room tonight?“

Lucas bit his lip and gave a short nod „Okay.“

Eliott smiled brightly at him „You bring the Popcorn and I’ll pick the movie.“

Lucas rolled his eyes playfully „Just say we’re going to watch Pitch Perfect for the 50th time.“

Eliott laughed as he walked away backwards „Don’t pretend like you don’t love it!“ he said and winked before turning around and walking off to his parents’ house.

All those feeling Lucas had tried to suppress over the years, rose back up and a hundred times stronger than before.

He didn't know what this summer had in store for him, but he felt like it would change his life either way.

.

Lucas stood in front of Eliott’s parents front door, holding a bag of popcorn and a six pack of beer and he actually felt nervous. Two years ago he would have simply walked into the house like it was his own. But he hadn’t actually been inside for that many years and wasn’t sure what to do. So he rang the doorbell and stood there awkwardly waiting for it to be opened.

Eliott’s mom appeared at the door shortly after and looked surprised to see Lucas standing there. „Lucas!“ She said „What are you doing ringing the doorbell?“

„I wasn't sure…“ he started but was interrupted by her.

„Nonsense! This is your home like it always has been. Eliott is upstairs in his room, you can go ahead.“ She smiled at him kindly and he walked past her up the stairs to Eliott’s room.

Now he was standing in front of his bedroom door as awkwardly as he had downstairs. Should he knock? He had never knocked at this door in his entire life, but it also felt wrong to just enter.

He was just raising his hand to knock when the door was opened from the inside.

„Lucas! There you are! I was just going to see if you were coming.“ Eliott paused looking at Lucas’ raised hand „Were you going to knock?“

Lucas lowered his hand and shrugged „Yes?“

Eliott laughed and grabbed Lucas’ arm, pulling him inside the room „Don’t be ridiculous.“ Eliott sat down on his bed and scooted to the side, patting the space next to him „Come, join me.“

Lucas placed the bag of Popcorn on the nightstand and held up the six pack „I got us beer as well“ he said before taking out a bottle „Do you want one?“

„Oh nice! Yes thank you.“ Eliott exclaimed and lifted up a joint that he must have just rolled on the bed „I got us something too“ he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

„Niice.“ Lucas replied smiling.

He opened the beer bottles and handed one to Eliott, taking a small sip while still standing up. He looked around the room for a moment, it all still looked the same, and his eyes stopped at an item on a shelf. 

„I can’t believe you still have that“ Lucas said pointing at the bright red fire truck, displayed on a shelf.

Eliott followed Lucas’ gaze and his face lit up as soon as he saw what he was pointing at „Of course I did. It was the first gift you got me, I remember it well. You were so proud of it, because you picked it out yourself and it was my favorite gift, just because it was from you.“ He said softly and looked at Lucas.

Lucas took a big gulp of his beer and sat down on the bed next to Eliott, leaving some space between them „So what are we watching? Pitch Perfect?“

„Can we? Please? Nobody at College watches it with me and it’s just not the same without you.“

Lucas turned to look at him „Not even your girlfriend?“

Eliott blinked before replying „She’s not my girlfriend anymore.“ And then after a beat „How about you, do you watch a lot of movies with your boyfriend?“ he took a sip of his beer.

Lucas’ lips parted. He remembered he hadn’t actually ever told Eliott that he was gay. He licked his lips before replying „He’s not my boyfriend anymore.“

Eliott nodded „I’m sorry.“

Lucas shook his head „It didn’t work out, I always thought of someone else when I was with him.“ he picked on the label of his beer bottle and felt Eliott’s intense stare on him. „I’m sorry about your girlfriend too.“ he said looking up again „You two looked happy together.“

This time it was Eliott’s turn to look down „On Instagram maybe, yeah. In reality we fought a lot. I guess I was hung up on someone else too.“ He looked up again.

Lucas nodded and shifted his gaze back to the TV „So are you going to turn on Pitch Perfect or what?“

.

They had finished the beer and smoked the joint, half eaten bag of Popcorn lying on the bed. The movie was quietly playing in the background.They had moved up on the bed, heads propped up on pillows but they were still not touching. There was still too much tension between them. Lucas could feel his eyes drooping shut, tiredness taking over. When he moved his head to look over atEliott, he saw that he wasn’t doing much better himself, eyes already closed.

Maybe he would just rest his eyes for a moment as well.

The next time Lucas opened his eyes, it was pitch black in the room, the timer on the TV must have turned it off again. He realized suddenly, that him and Eliott were cuddling and his body tensed up momentarily. Eliott was spooning him and his arms were wrapped tightly around Lucas’ middle, just as the last time. Lucas’ own arms were wrapped around Eliott’s. He swallowed and told himself to relax. _This is Eliott,_ he reminded himself, _you two have cuddled a hundred times like this, nothing strange here._ His body relaxed and he let himself enjoy the touch for a moment before thinking of what to do next. Should he stay? Or should he leave?

He slowly moved his arm a little to check the time on his phone, which was lying on Eliott’s nightstand, when he suddenly whispered in his ear, causing Lucas to freeze.

„Don’t leave.“

Lucas let out a shaky breath and lowered his arm.

„Do you know what time it is?“ he whispered in return.

„Late.“ Eliott whispered „Stay. Please.“

He tightened his grip on Lucas and nuzzled his face in his neck.

_Well I might as well stay then if Eliott really wants me to so much,_ Lucas thought and relaxed back into the touch, eyes closing and drifting back off to sleep.

.

Someone was touching his hair and Lucas furrowed his brows. Then the touch was gone suddenly and Lucas slowly blinked his eyes open, looking into Eliott’s smiling face.

„Good Morning!“

Lucas blinked his eyes a few more times. Eliott had his hands in front of his head, could it be that he…but no, why would he? He had probably just imagined that touch.

„Good Morning.“ Lucas replied, yawning into his hands and rubbing his eyes „What time is it?“

„Almost ten.“ Eliott replied.

Lucas stretched and lay back down on his side facing Eliott, who was still smiling at him.

„I’m so glad you stayed.“ Eliott said.

Lucas licked his lips and looked down „Yeah I’m sorry about last time, I just couldn’t stand seeing you go.“ He said quietly.

Eliott touched Lucas’ arm and left his hand there „Hey it’s fine, I get it. I would have really liked to say Goodbye to you but I get that it was too much for you to come outside that morning.“

Lucas looked up „You knew I wasn’t sleeping?“

Eliott shot him a look „Lucas come on, I’ve known you since you were born. You always reply to my texts, even in the middle of the night.“

Lucas looked down again „I’m sorry“

Eliott squeezed his arm from where his hand was still resting „How’s Fifi?“

Lucas smiled, thankful for the change of topic „Oh Fifi! I should have brought her with me last night, I’m just so used to having her by now. She’s fine.“

Eliott laughed „It’s okay, I’ll see her when I come over to yours.“

Lucas smiled at him and they just looked at each other for a moment before Eliott broke the silence „Wanna go get some breakfast?“

Lucas nodded happily „Yeah let me just shower and get changed quickly and then we can go.“

Eliott smiled „Okay sounds good, I’ll do the same. Meet me outside in 30?“

Lucas agreed and grabbed his phone and shoes, walking out the door and over to his own home.

.

Lucas and Eliott were sitting across from each other in the small cafe, both with full stomachs and sated smiles on their faces.

Lucas cleared his throat „So I wanted to um…apologize for not telling you about…you know, me.“

Eliott furrowed his brows „What do you mean?“

Lucas looked down at the table „That I am gay.“ He looked up again to see Eliott’s reaction.

Nothing. His face didn’t show any reaction whatsoever. 

„Lucas, you know you don’t owe me anything right? You don’t have to feel like you need to tell me whether you’re gay or straight or bi or whatever. That’s completely up to you.“

„I know but, you know, you’re my longest friend and I’ve known since I was 15 but in the end you had to find out through Instagram so…“ he shrugged.

Eliott stretched out his hand and took Lucas’ in his „Lucas you’d never have to tell me if you didn’t want to. Obviously you didn’t want to tell me and that’s fine, there was a reason for that I’m sure. Thank you though for trusting me enough now and telling me.“ He smiled at Lucas, who returned his smile and relaxed.

„It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you it just…“ he looked down at their connected hands and licked his lips „Doesn’t matter, should we get the check?“

Eliott seemed to deflate a little but agreed and pulled back his hand to call a waiter. Lucas’ hand felt cold as soon as it lost Eliott’s touch.

.

They fell back into their routine quickly, almost as if these past two years had never happened. 

They spent most of their days together, when they weren’t meeting with their friends or spending time with their families.

Lucas’ parents had agreed to let him have the summer off and start working after. One last summer of freedom if you will.

But even if they didn’t spend a day together, they always met up at night again, either Eliott coming over to Lucas’ or the other way around and they would watch movies together until they fell asleep, cuddling each other.

It had been two weeks now since Eliott had surprised Lucas with his return but it felt like he had never left. It felt just like before he had gone off to college. No, better even, because they were spending much more time together again and being as close as ever.

One evening Eliott met with his old friends from school, they wanted to go out to get drinks and go to a club later on.

Lucas had used the time that evening to look at jobs in the area and to look at the different Colleges in the country. He still wasn’t sure where he wanted to go, but he was leaning towards one.

He had showered and gotten ready for bed and was currently drifting off to sleep, the Laptop playing a TV show he knew inside out. He had his phone lying on his bed next to him, in case Eliott would text him when he got home. Which would be much later probably, since it was only just after midnight.

Lucas closed his eyes and felt himself drift off to sleep when his phone vibrated next to him and woke him up. He opened one eye to see who it was from and was surprised to see Eliott’s name on his display.

_Luuuluuu can I sleep at yuor pla ce pleeeeees_

Lucas huffed out a laugh and unlocked his phone to reply. He’d thought Eliott would stay out longer.

_Okay but you have to be quiet, my parents are asleep_

he texted back and got up to open the door downstairs.

_Okayyy I’ll be supr queit promis_

Lucas smiled down at his phone as he walked down the stairs, he hadn’t seen Eliott drunk in a long time. He had always been an affectionate drunk.

He opened the door and saw Eliott already standing there, smiling at him brightly „Hiii!“ He said, rocking back and forth a little on his feet.

Lucas held up a finger to his lips, to remind Eliott to be quiet and Eliott mimicked him, bringing up his own finger.

„Come on“ Lucas whispered and grabbed Eliott’s arm to pull him inside and close the door behind him „Try not to make too much noise okay?“

Eliott still smiled happily at him „Okay“ he shout whispered and let himself be led up the stairs by Lucas.

When they entered his bedroom, Lucas quickly closed the door to his room and let out a relieved sigh „Made it.“ he said to Eliott, who was rocking on his feet again.

„Your room’s spinnin“ he said and looked up at the ceiling.

That made Lucas laugh and he walked over to him, pushing him gently down on his bed „You should sit down, I’ll get you some water.“

Eliott nodded happily and Lucas quickly went downstairs, returning with two bottles of water shortly after.

When he came back into his room, he saw that Eliott was currently trying to take of his boots, unsuccessfully „Here let me help you.“ Lucas said and handed Eliott a water bottle instead

„Thank you.“ Eliott said and took a few gulps of the water „Dunno what I’d do without you.“ He ruffled Lucas’ hair and smiled at him.

Lucas looked up at him while taking off his shoes and for a moment they just stared at each other, Eliott smiling down at him through lidded eyes

When he had removed his shoes, Lucas got up to take Eliott’s jacket off as well „Here let’s take this off.“

Eliott complied and let Lucas remove his jacket. „Pants too“ he said as he began unbuttoning his own jeans. Lucas bit his bottom lip and watched Eliott try to get the pants off but to no avail 

„They’re so tight Lucaaaas help me.“ He pouted and looked up at Lucas who was standing in front of the bed.

Lucas sighed and pulled on the bottom of the jeans leg to remove it from Eliott’s leg and did the same with the other. 

Now Eliott was lying on his bed in nothing but tight black briefs and a thin white T-shirt. Lucas gulped.

„Lie down?“ Eliott asked and looked up to him before making grabby hands.

Lucas pushed his Laptop to the side and lay down next to Eliott on his side so they were facing each other.

„Hi.“ Eliott beamed at him.

„Hi.“ Lucas replied smiling as well.

Eliott suddenly stretched out a hand and furrowed his brows before pushing a strand of hair away from Lucas’ forehead.

Lucas’ breath hitched „How come you’re home so early, didn’t you want to go to a club with the boys?“ He asked quickly to distract himself.

Eliott pulled his hand back and shook his head „Nooo wanted to come home. To you.“ he said and raised his hand again, this time to Lucas’ cheek.

_What the fuck was he doing?_

„Oh so the other’s didn’t go to the club anymore?“ His heart was beating fast, too fast.

„No they went.“ Eliott slurred „But I miss you too much, wanted to come home.“ he cuddled closer to Lucas and wrapped his arm around his middle, head resting on his chest. Lucas didn’t move, he stayed frozen in place, willing his heart to slow down.

„You missed me?“ he asked quietly.

Eliott tipped his head back so he could look at Lucas „Yes, miss you all the time. My girlfriend was so annoyed.“ he giggled before continuing „Always talked about you and how much I miss you.“ he giggled again „Think she was jealous.“ he lowered his head back on Lucas’ chest.

This was brand new information for Lucas, he didn’t know that Eliott had still missed him when he had a girlfriend, he thought he wasn’t even thinking about him much less talked about him to other people. His girlfriend even? Lucas was baffled.

He finally moved his arm and wrapped it around Eliott’s back, who let out a pleased sigh at the touch.

„Goodnight Eliott“ Lucas whispered, closing his eyes.

„Night.“ came the muffled reply „Love you.“

Lucas’ eyes shot open again. He wouldn’t get any sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! <3


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank every single one of you who has left a comment or a kudo on this story. I really really appreciate it!!
> 
> I hope you like this chapter <3

Lucas woke up to something hot plastered against his back. As he slowly came to, he realized that it was Eliott who was wrapped around him. Arms around his chest, one leg flung over Lucas’.

When he moved a little to look at Eliott’s face, he noticed something else. Something hard. Pressed against his ass.

_Fuck._

Lucas felt the heat building inside him immediately and tried to carefully move further away from Eliott’s body. But he wouldn’t let him, instead pulling him closer to himself and then - then the worst thing happened.

Eliott began slowly rutting against Lucas’ ass. And Lucas felt frozen to the spot.

„Mmh Lucas“ came a quiet muffled sound from behind him and - what? Was he awake?

Lucas willed himself to calm down and not to get hard, but to no avail. He took a few deep breaths before turning on his back, to see if Eliott was awake. 

He wasn’t, well until Lucas had turned around he wasn’t. Now he was furrowing his brows and slowly blinking open his eyes, looking at Lucas in horror when he realized where he was.

„Fuck!“ Eliott said looking down at them and his obviously hard on in his briefs. He pulled the blanket up to cover himself „Fuck fuck fuck I’m so sorry Lucas!“ He hid his face in his hands „I haven’t had any sex in a while I’m sorry, my body just reacted this way.“

Lucas looked at him for a while, not saying anything until finally speaking „But…I’m a boy.“

Eliott peaked at him from between his fingers, before lowering his hands. He licked his lips before he spoke „I like boys too.“ He simply said, looking directly at Lucas.

Lucas’ head was swimming, this was brand new information for him. How did he not know that?

„How…how long have you known?“ Lucas asked, still shocked.

Eliott shrugged „I kinda suspected it for a while, but then in college I…um I confirmed it.“ He glanced over at Lucas „Sorry for not telling you sooner but we weren’t exactly speaking at that time and just sending you a text saying, hey I'm pan what’s up with you, felt kind of weird.“

Lucas nodded dumbfounded, this changed things. This definitely changed things between them. All this time Lucas never thought he’d have any chance with Eliott whatsoever but now…now there was actually a chance? Lucas didn’t know what to think.

„I’m gonna shower“ he muttered and got up, thankful that the conversation had helped his body to calm down.

.

When he got out of the shower, Eliott was gone.

Lucas sighed and sat down on his bed, he probably thought that Lucas was freaked out by what had happened this morning but that wasn’t it. He had just always thought that this fruitless crush he was harboring on his childhood best friend would always be that - fruitless. But instead he was grinding against Lucas that morning, muttering his name. And all the cuddling they’ve been doing recently? Was that maybe not totally platonic from his side?

Lucas rubbed a hand down his face. On the other hand, just because Eliott liked boys didn’t mean he was into Lucas. But now that Lucas had this knowledge and looked back at things in the past, it made him wonder. Eliott was extra affectionate with him. None of his other friends had ever been that affectionate with him. But maybe that was just how they were? Since they basically grew up together?

Lucas was confused, he didn’t know what to think anymore. 

He was kind of glad now, that his parents had invited his aunt and uncle over tonight, so he had an excuse to not see Eliott that night, he needed some time to think.

.

The next morning, Lucas was still as clueless as he had been before. All night he was doing quizzes of „Is he really into you or are you just friends“ and was annoyed at the different results he got on each test.

Eliott hadn’t texted him last night either to hang out and watch a movie together. Lucas wasn’t sure if he’d told him before that his family was visiting that night or not.

Either way, it was the first night they didn’t spend together since Eliott had come home.

Lucas was chilling in the backyard again, glancing over at Eliott’s house from time to time, hoping he’d see him. The truth was he didn’t know how to approach him now. Should he text him and ask if they wanted to hang out again? 

The way they left things was so awkward the day before, Lucas didn’t know how to proceed.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, looking out in the sky.

That’s when his phone buzzed. He felt excitement bubble up in himself but stayed cool for a moment, in case it was from Eliott and in case he was watching him from his house right now.

After a few seconds, Lucas casually took the phone from the table and saw that the message was in fact from Eliott.

_Hey, feel like going out later tonight?_

Lucas bit his lip.

So Eliott made the first step again, not addressing whatever had happened last night.

_Sure, what time?_

_20h?_ Eliott asked

_Sounds perfect :)_

_._

Lucas walked out of his front door a little before the agreed time, to see Eliott already standing outside waiting. He had his back turned to him, so he didn’t see Lucas approaching, which gave him the perfect opportunity to really take him in from behind. Eliott was wearing tight jeans as usual, which were cuffed up on the bottom and a pair of black sneakers. On top he wore a simple black T-shirt, his full brown hair was standing up in all directions and Lucas felt the urge to run his fingers through it. Instead he cleared his throat, which made Eliott spin around to face him.

„Lucas!“ He smiled brightly at him „I didn’t hear you.“ He looked him up and down and finally said „You look nice.“

Lucas could feel himself blush but tried to stay nonchalant „So do you.“

Eliott smiled at him before looking down at his phone „I called us a taxi, should be here any moment.“

Just after he had uttered those words, a taxi appeared around the corner and stopped in front of them.

They drove to the city center and went to a small bar they used to frequent when they were younger.

Eliott told Lucas to find them a table and went to the bar to get them drinks. He found Lucas shortly after and placed two bottles of beer and 4 shot glasses filled with a clear liquid on the table.

„Are you trying to get me drunk?“ Lucas laughed when he saw what Eliott had bought them.

Eliott shrugged „I feel like getting drunk tonight, what about you?“ 

Lucas narrowed his eyes for a moment before shrugging as well „Why the hell not“ and picked up a shot glass to down it together with Eliott.

Lucas bought them the next round even though Eliott insisted on paying. Therefore he bought the third round. And the fourth.

When it was midnight and they were both well on their way to getting drunk, they called themselves a taxi and drove back home.

„'m sleeping at your place tonight.“ Lucas said leaning against Eliott’s shoulder in the car.

„Okay.“ Eliott agreed happily, wrapping his arm around Lucas’ shoulders.

When they arrived home, they paid the driver and got out of the car, Eliott holding out his hand for Lucas to take, which he accepted gratefully and didn’t let go until they were inside Eliott’s bedroom.

Eliott let himself fall down on his bed and opened his arms for Lucas „Come on, cuddle!“ he said and Lucas complied happily. Too drunk to think of the implications.

They lay down on the bed facing each other, arms wrapped around shoulders and waists and smiled at the other happily.

„’m sorry for yesterday.“ Eliott finally said.

„Hm?“ Lucas asked, brows furrowed.

„You know, the whole…“ he moved his hips forward a little.

Lucas laughed loudly „Oh that! It’s okay.“

Eliott smiled at him „It is?“

Lucas shrugged „Yeah… kinda liked it.“ he said quietly

„You did?“ Eliott asked excitedly.

Lucas nodded smile still in place „Yah you’re hot“

Eliott’s eyes were glassy but he was trying to focus them „You think I’m hot?“

Lucas nodded „Oh yeah for sure, hottest guy I know.“

„Thanks!“ he said happily and after staring at Lucas’ face for a moment „So it’d be okay if I did it again?“

Lucas tried to focus his eyes on Eliott’s, it was hard, his face kept moving „Yeah“ he finally whispered, gaze moving down to Eliott’s lips.

Eliott licked his lips and Lucas mirrored him, eyes flicking up for a moment when Eliott’s face came closer and closing them when their lips finally crashed together.

The kiss was heated, lips parting immediately, tongues exploring the other’s mouth and moans escaping lips. 

Lucas wasn’t sure who was moaning, their lips were fused together, it was probably both of them.

Eliott turned Lucas on his back without separating their lips and climbed on top of him.

He kissed down Lucas’ neck and sucked on a spot, which caused Lucas to moan loudly, but was effectively quieted by Eliott joining their lips again. 

Eliott began unbuttoning Lucas’ shirt and littered the naked skin with kisses and Lucas followed his actions quickly, tearing off Eliott's clothes.

.

Lucas’ head was pounding when he woke up the next morning, his mouth was dry and he felt slightly nauseous. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes, it was too bright in the room so he closed them again quickly. He moved his hand up to cover his eyes before carefully opening them again. That was better. He blinked a few times, before he realized that he was in Eliott’s room. Okay so they must have come back here after the bar. 

Lucas moved his hand away from his face, he was slowly adjusting to the brightness. He turned his head to look over at Eliott, but instead of his lovely face he saw…his ass? His very naked ass!

Lucas couldn’t take his eyes off of Eliott's admittedly very beautiful ass, as the memories of last night came crashing back down on him.

_Fuck_

They had slept with each other. Fuck fuck fuck. Lucas screwed his eyes shut again, the headache suddenly intensifying.

He tried to remember if he was the one who had initiated it? No, he was pretty sure it had been mutual, so Eliott had wanted it as well. At least in his drunk state. 

_Well this would be awkward_ Lucas thought. He remembered that he had told Eliott that he thought he was the hottest guy he knew. God, drunk him really needed a brain to mouth filter.

And Eliott hadn’t had sex in a long time, as he had said so himself, so he probably just thought why the hell not. Might as well sleep with Lucas.

Lucas pinched the bridge of his nose to try and keep the throbbing headache at bay. He really didn’t need to hear Eliott’s excuses and apologies and that it didn’t mean anything to him, he just wanted to have some fun. He needed to get out of here before Eliott woke up, but that was easier said than done.

Their clothes were strewn across the room and Lucas saw that his boxers were actually stuck underneath Eliott’s foot.

Fuck it, he didn’t need them.

He slipped out of bed quietly and pulled on his jeans, buttoning them. He found his shirt underneath the bed and put it on as well, not bothering to button it. He didn’t know where his socks were, but one of his shoes was lying next to the nightstand and the other one all the way on the other side of the room on top of the desk.

_How the hell did it get there_ , Lucas had no idea. He walked over to the desk quickly to retrieve his shoe and bumped into the desk chair in the process which then bumped into the desk and made a loud noise. Lucas froze and turned around to see if he woke Eliott. Eliott furrowed his brows but just turned around on his side, not opening his eyes.

Lucas grabbed his second shoe and tip toed back over to to the door. Just as he had his hand on the door handle and was about to open it, he heard Eliott’s quiet voice.

„Lucas?“

Lucas closed his eyes before turning around. Eliott was leaning on his elbow, looking up at Lucas from the bed, eyes tired and naked ass still beautifully on display.

„Are you leaving?“

Lucas looked at the wall behind Eliott, to keep his eyes from straying to his ass. 

Eliott was sitting up now and finally realized he was naked and covered himself up with a bed sheet.

Lucas exhaled relieved „Yeah sorry I just thought it’d be better…“he looked down at the ground

„Oh yeah, okay.“ Eliot nodded and ran a hand through his hair.

He didn’t say anything else so Lucas turned back around, about to open the door.

„Lucas wait. Please.“

Lucas turned to face Eliott again, he had gotten up now and was standing by his bed.

„Actually…not okay.“ he said.

„What?“ Lucas was confused.

„Can we talk? About what happened?“

Lucas gulped and nodded „Okay.“ but didn’t move from his spot by the door.

„I’m not sorry about last night.“ Eliott said honestly.

„You’re not?“ Lucas asked surprised.

Eliott shook his head, carefully watching Lucas „I’ve wanted to do that for a long time actually.“

„You did?“ Lucas asked and cringed at his shaky voice.

„And…it felt like you wanted it too?“ He asked carefully.

And Lucas couldn't believe it, was Eliott actually afraid that Lucas didn't want him? He was baffled.

„I did, I definitely did.“ He said quickly „For so long.“

„Yeah?“ Eliott asked smiling at him.

Lucas smiled back at him, was this actually happening? „Yeah.“

They smiled at each other for a moment, before Lucas made a decision. He dropped his shoes to the ground and walked over to Eliott slowly „I really like you.“ he said feeling brave „And not like a friend or a brother, but like…I’m in love with you.“ his heart was racing but it was now or never.

Eliott brought a hand up to Lucas’ cheek „I’m in love with you too Lu.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is only one chapter left. I don't think I will be able to upload it tomorrow, but it will be up on Saturday for sure!


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, the last chapter. Enjoy <3

When Lucas was 18 years old and Eliott was 20 they went on their first date.

Eliott had asked Lucas out properly after they had made out for what felt like hours that morning. They had brushed the taste of alcohol and of the night out off their mouths before, Lucas still had a toothbrush at Eliott’s place for as long as he could think, the same way Eliott did at Lucas’ place. 

Eliott had said he wanted to pick Lucas up from home like a real date and after Lucas had laughed at that and had seen the serious expression on Eliott’s face, he agreed.

Eliott drove them to a small Italian restaurant in town and they were sitting at a small table by the window, empty plates in front of them and half drunk glasses of wine.

They were holding hands on the table and staring into each other’s eyes with a smile on their face, like a real cliché.

„So you think I’m the hottest guy you know huh?“ Eliott smirked.

Lucas blushed but tried to overplay it by rolling his eyes and pulling his hand from Eliott’s grasp, who in turn held on to his hand tighter.

„Shut up.“ Lucas replied looking down at the table „I was drunk.“

„Oh and how does the saying go? Children and drunk people always speak the truth?“ Eliott grinned brightly.

Lucas narrowed his eyes at him „You’re just fishing for a compliment.“

Eliott simply batted his eyelashes in return which made Lucas snort out a laugh. He sighed „Fine I guess you’re pretty hot.“ he mumbled.

Eliott brought a hand up to his ear „What was that? I don’t think I heard you.“

Lucas rolled his eyes dramatically „Okay you’re the hottest guy I know, happy?“

"Aww Lucas, that’s so sweet of you, you didn't have to say that!“

Lucas raised an eyebrow at him „You’re annoying.“

Eliott simply gave him a big smile in return „For your information, I think you’re pretty hot yourself.“ He lifted his eyebrows and winked at him.

Lucas could feel himself blush under Eliott’s intense gaze and was relieved when the waiter came to their table at that moment „Was everything okay here?“

„Yes the food was great thank you.“ Eliott replied „Can we get the check please?“

Their waiter nodded „I’ll be right back.“

Eliott turned his attention back to Lucas after the waiter had left „Can't wait to have dessert at home.“

.

They were chilling in the backyard the next day in their bathing shorts, lying on a blanket in the grass, Lucas on his back and Eliott half on top of him, one leg slotted in between Lucas’, propped up on his elbow and kissing Lucas, his other hand stroking down his cheek. 

Lucas had one arm wrapped around Eliott’s middle, the other was on his ass and he was pushing him down impossibly closer to himself.

If they kept going much longer, Lucas would need to bring Eliott up to his room. The sun was burning hot on top of them, but this make out session made him impossibly hotter.

Lucas was just debating if he should interrupt the kissing to drag Eliott up to his room or if he could wait a little longer, when there was someone clearing their throat beside them.

Both of their heads turned to the side at the same time and there beside them stood their mothers, both with raised eyebrows and crossed arms. 

„Boys?“ Eliott’s mum started „Would you like to tell us something?“ They were both wearing matching smirks.

„Um…“ Eliott started and lifted himself slightly off of Lucas. He couldn’t move all the way, since they were both sporting boners. He laughed and looked down at Lucas for help, who lifted himself up on his elbows

„Yeah, I guess…surprise?“ Lucas laughed awkwardly.

Their moms looked at each other and seemed to have a silent conversation before turning back to the boys, big smiles on their faces now „Finally!“ Eliott’s mum exclaimed „We were wondering how much longer it would take you two.“

Lucas’ mom nodded „Yes we thought you two would have figured it out much sooner.“

„Figured what out?“ Eliott asked confused.

„That you obviously fit together so well, we were hoping this would happen one day.“ His mom replied.

„Yes, we knew since you were little. You make such a great couple.“ Lucas’ mum nodded.

Eliott and Lucas looked at each other for a moment, they hadn’t had the couple talk yet.

„Thanks?“ Lucas replied.

„Anyways, we just wanted to say we’re happy for you.“ Eliott’s mum said.

„And that we support this 100 per cent. We won’t bother you any longer.“ They both smiled before walking away again, talking animatedly.

Lucas and Eliott watched them leave, before looking at each other and breaking out in laughter. They fell back down on the blanket, Eliott rolling off of Lucas and both lying down on their backs.

„That was weird.“ Lucas finally said, after they had calmed down a little.

„Yeah“ Eliott agreed and turned on his side to look at Lucas „So, couple huh?“

Lucas turned on his side as well „That’s what they said“ and bit his lip.

Eliott smiled and moved up his hand to stroke Lucas' lip with his thumb „Lucas?“

„Hm?“

„Do you want to be my boyfriend?“ 

Lucas’ heart was racing in his chest "I thought you’d never ask.“

They smiled at each other before crashing their lips together in a deep kiss, holding the other’s cheeks in their hands.

„Hi boyfriend.“ Eliott said after they parted from the kiss.

„Hi yourself.“ Lucas replied before kissing his boyfriend again.

.

Lucas and Eliott were lying on Lucas’ bed, Fifi on Eliott’s chest next to Lucas’ head, which was resting on Eliott’s chest again.

Lucas was checking his Instagram, they had posted their first official boyfriends picture the night before. Lucas had gotten the most likes he had for any of his pictures and so many comments. All of them positive. Some people were surprised, others like his boys just really happy for him.

Lucas was smiling down at the newest comment and muttered more to himself "I can’t believe this is really happening.“

He suddenly felt Eliott’s fingers stroke through his hair „Me neither.“ he replied quietly.

Lucas turned his head to look at his boyfriend „You have no idea how long I’ve dreamt of this.“

Eliott smiled, his eyes squinting in the adorable way they always do „Same here.“ he stroke Lucas’ cheek „Remember in the beginning when I had just left for college?“

Lucas nodded.

„And we talked on the phone one night, and I told you I really wanted to tell you something in person over Christmas break?“

Lucas gave him another short nod.

„Yeah…I wanted to tell you that I was in love with you.“ Eliott licked his lips, watching Lucas’ reaction.

Lucas moved a little so he could look at Eliott more directly „You were already in love with me at that point?“ he asked in awe.

Eliott nodded „Yes…actually longer I think. I mean I’ve suspected it before, but after I left and I knew I wouldn’t see you for a long time…that’s when it really hit me.“

They were lying on their sides now, looking at each other.

„Wow.“ Lucas replied „I had no idea. I thought it was only me this whole time.“

Eliott shook his head slightly „I tried to get you out of my head and date other people, but it didn’t work.“ he moved up a hand to stroke Lucas’ cheek.

„Same here. I tried to date and see other people, but you were always there in my head. And Fifi!“ he pointed at the rabbit on Eliott’s chest „Whenever I hooked up with someone else and then came home, she gave me such a look of reproach.“ 

Eliott laughed and picked up Fifi to look at her „Good girl! I knew I could count on you.“ he kissed her on the nose and put her back down „But to think that we could have had this so much sooner.“

Lucas shrugged „Who knew if it would have lasted then. With you going off to College and me being here…“

„Yeah.“ Eliott swallowed and licked his lips before speaking again „Speaking of“

Lucas raised his eyebrows in question.

„So you’re not sure what College you want to go to yet right? Or where exactly you’re gonna spend your gap year?“

„Well I was going to work down at the music store but…“ Lucas trailed off.

„You can work at any music store right? You don’t need to work at the one here? At home?“

Lucas narrowed his eyes and slowly shook his head „No…“

Eliott took Lucas’ hand in his „Come with me? Please? You can find a much better job there and we can even get an apartment together. I’m just living in the dorms right now but I would love to move out. And I couldn’t think of a better roommate.“

Lucas just stared at him, lips still parted.

„Look how long we’ve known each other and how much time we’ve spent together and we still aren’t sick of each other, quite the opposite actually.“ They both smiled at each other bashfully „I just - I can’t imagine leaving you behind again. I missed you so much already and we weren’t even boyfriends yet. And now - now I can’t even imagine leaving here without you.“

He took in a deep breath „So please, Lucas, Lulu. Will you please come to Paris with me and live with me?“ Eliott looked at him with a hopeful smile.

„Yes! Yes yes yes a thousand times yes!“ Lucas beamed at him and Eliott beamed right back, both meeting in the middle for a kiss and wrapping each other in tight hugs. „I was actually thinking of applying to that college anyways.“ Lucas said when they parted.

„Thank God!“ Eliott laughed from where his head was resting in the crook of Lucas’ neck „I don’t think I would have been able to go back without you. „I love you so much Lucas!“

Lucas froze for a short moment before pulling his head back, so he could look Eliott in the eyes „What?“

Eliott was still beaming at him „I love you Lucas.“ He replied, quieter this time.

Lucas bit his lip before replying „I love you too.“

.

When Lucas was 18 years old and Eliott was 20 they moved into their first apartment in Paris together. It was not big and it wasn’t the fanciest one either, but it was enough for them. They were just happy to be together, the rest was secondary.

.

When Lucas was 19 years old he started school at the same College that Eliott went to. They didn’t see each other much at school, since their buildings were on opposite sides of the Campus, but some days they met up for lunch, or relaxed on the lawn together on sunny days, or they just met back at home at their apartment in the afternoon.

.

On Lucas’ 23rd birthday, they went home to visit their parents. One night Eliott took Lucas out to the same restaurant they had gone to on their first date and he got down on one knee and proposed to his boyfriend.

Lucas immediately said yes.

.

And when Lucas was 24 years old and Eliott was 26 they got married in their hometown, surrounded by all of their friends and families.

They were still best friends first and foremost and lovers second, and that would never change. 

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!!  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments. You have no idea how much it means to me. Like I said in the beginning, I wasn't too confident about posting this story, but you guys kept me going. So thank you for that <3
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://germericangirl.tumblr.com/)


End file.
